Awesome Quotes

• Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
• Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
• What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
• "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
• Last night I laid in my bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
• Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
• A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.